I cannot believe what an incredible process this has been.  I feel like a whole new human being with so many of the techniques I have practiced this week.  Really, I’ve only scratched the surface when it comes to self love.

I am going to continue finding ways to implement what I learned this week into my daily life.  The five things I have listed below are my top priorities in the future, when it comes to inner healing and self love.  I highly recommend these.  Again, this changed me so much.  I’m by no means completely healed, but I had zero (0) incidents this week of any kind, at a point in my life where incidents have increased, well, a lot.  Enjoy!

5. Be wary of social media

In my opinion, the human mind is not completely capable of handling social media sites such as Twitter and Facebook.  The constant barrage of material is just too much for the brain to handle.  See what people are doing, see what’s happening in the world, and then let the rest go.  It will be just fine.

4. Stand up above your weaknesses

Find out what is causing you to become weak and stop doing it.  We all have vices, addictions, distractions that cause us to become weaker, prone to mistakes, prone to defeats.  Get rid of them.  It is tough, but you’re tougher.  Some things may cause me to want to relapse.  But I will not let that happen anymore.  Beat these things and you’ll become unstoppable.

3. Appreciate everything you have

Everything can disappear in a heartbeat.  Take the time to remind everyone you care about that you care about them.  Don’t take your home for granted.  Don’t take your health for granted.  Love as much as you can because so many people will never reciprocate that.

2. Listen to Music

This may seem like a given, but there is more to it than that.  Find the music that takes you off this planet, and listen to that.  Become part of it.  Music heals.

1. Make love to yourself

Wait, what!?!  That’s gross.  Nah, it’s not what you think (kind of).  Imagine you’re going out on a date, and you really want to impress them, I mean really want to impress them.  You turn on your A game, and you put your best foot forward.  Set aside time to do that to yourself.  Give yourself your own A game.  You’ll appreciate it more than you’ll ever realize.

Task: Make a declaration on social media

 

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The reason I began this seven day challenge in the first place was because of something I was struggling with, my brain activity.

I’m not sure if it’s the result of my depression, or the result of something more serious, but I feel like my brain is slowly dying.  For about three years now, it is becoming more and more difficult for me to maintain conversation, hold attention of any kind, and now I’m even having a hard time completing sentences.  I’m extremely forgetful too, which is really bad considering I used to remember absolutely everything.

My therapist told me nothing is wrong, but clearly that’s not true.  I’m not sure what it’s going to take to get back to where I was, but one thing is for sure, I’m not giving up.  I will keep fighting this, and will return to having a kick-ass brain again!!

Task – Support Others

Unfortunately, I don’t lend a lot of support anymore.  Too many people have taken advantage of me, and as a result, I’ve had to stop being quite so selfless.  However, I believe that I can support others in many ways that doesn’t include putting myself out into awful situations.  It could be something as simple as a few Facebook likes, or a sweet comment, or maybe telling someone they look great.  If that makes a difference, then so be it.

Dear Mark:

This may seem obvious, but you are not defined by the 1 star rating a small part of society led you to believe.  You are worth far more than that and you know it.

This is going to happen in three steps.  Professional, physical, and emotional.

Professional – I want you to remember all the amazing times you’ve had in your career.  Think about all of the presidential candidates you’ve met.  The celebrities that stuck around for a picture when they didn’t have to.  The fact that you made a mistake regarding this career, but it wasn’t the worst thing you could have done.  You always have a chance.  You can always pull this together.  You’re so smart, you can’t be judged by the small percentage of bad people who took away your focus from the vast majority of good ones.

Physical – I want you to stop feeling weighted down by others who believe you’re gross.  People only think you’re gross because they just can’t connect to your level.  When that happens, you immediately need to become self-centered.  It’s not bad in small doses, so embrace it.  You have gained so many positive features in recent years.  In fact, you look nothing like you used to.  Don’t ever feel like admiring your physical self is wrong.  Don’t be afraid to be sexy.  Keep working hard on yourself, and you will just keep getting better with age!

Emotional – Whenever you feel down, remember that you are more blessed than 99% of the population on this planet, even if a small vocal minority tells you that you aren’t.  Yes, there are going to be people who will brag that their life is better than yours, but that’s only their opinion, and one that doesn’t count.  They may hate you for no reason, but that’s not because of me, it’s because of them.  They may tell you that your house is worthless, but they couldn’t be more wrong if they tried.  You have heat, four walls, a roof, a comfortable bed, a loving wife, friends, family, this world would be completely upside-down if you weren’t a part of it.  These are people who are so upset with their own life that they deal with it by taking it out on you.  It’s not your responsibility to oblige them.  Never forget that.

You are loved inside and out.  Keep kicking ass, you’re doing a GREAT job!

Love, Mark

Task – Meditate for 3 Minutes

And this is different from any other day how?

 

I have been able to accept a lot of the challenges life has given me.  But one of the toughest has been trying to adapt and improve my social skills.

When I was in elementary and middle school, I was hilarious.  And by hilarious I mean, my peers loved to laugh at me.  I never understood why my being so shy and different was funny to them.  If I saw them behave this way to someone else (which they didn’t) I wouldn’t have found it funny at all.

When I got into high school, I discovered drama and theater which improved my social skills significantly.  It was a very welcoming atmosphere, and I felt comfortable finally finding my rhythm.  When I got to college, I continued with theater believing I was going to make a life out of it.  But this was a very different atmosphere.  People were extremely vindictive, even dealing with a bizarre bullying situation from a faculty member, which I may get into later.  Suddenly I was not in an inclusive environment.  This had become as toxic as I was when I was back in middle school, if not worse.

Since then, I have found than when it comes to most atmospheres (employers, friend-bases, colleagues, etc.) there will be a pretty good 50/50 mix of those who will continue to be supportive of my social issues, and those who will continually try to throw me under the bus for no reason.  Either way, I approach everything with a sense of caution.  I realize that this is going to be the norm from here on out, and I’m ready for that.

In the end, I can’t force people to accept me or not.  But I can learn to accept myself in this regard, and although I’m not at senior year of high school levels, I’m hoping that awareness, confidence, and positiveness will get me close to those levels again.

Task:  Look in the mirror and say “I Love You”

tim curry i love you 2

These are just five things I am thankful for in no particular order.  I generally like to reflect on such things during Thanksgiving, but it’s important to do this every so often at all times of the year.

The Ability to Learn

Growing up, I struggled severely with social skills.  These problems worked their way well into adulthood.  However, I at no point needed to settle for staying this way.  I worked hard to learn how to overcome these issues.  Things aren’t perfect, but they were far better than they were even 15 years ago.  I don’t need to settle for abusive relationships, abusive friendships, and people who only focus on what’s wrong with me.

My Talents

I was born with talents many others consider strange.  I love to write, be creative, make things that will entertain.  There is so much awful in the world that I see nothing wrong with laughing and laughing often, so I try to create these things.  I was blessed with these skills.

My Health

With depression being so prevalent some days, I tend to discount my excellent physical health.  Although I spent much of my life almost 100 pounds underweight, I have started taking more concern over my physical nature and I feel so much better as a result.

My House

While I have been having many water problems lately, I look up and see a ceiling.  I look around me and I see walls.  There is a working heater.  I have power.  This is way more than many other people have, and I’m beyond thankful for this.

The People Around Me

I focus far too heavily on those around me who commit negative acts.  Maybe it’s just the negative bias all humans have?  I am clearly surrounded by AMAZING humans who I have been torturing with my issues lately.  I am so thankful for them, I wish they knew how much that means to me.

Task: Commit an Act of Kindness

This will get accomplished tomorrow as today was pretty busy:

I have a rule when it comes to my wardrobe.  If I don’t wear it in a year, it belongs to someone else.  I will be donating old sweaters, jackets, and pants to charity in hopes that they aren’t distributed for profit, but rather for those who need them this time of year.

Also in the near future I will be having a fun charity fundraiser of some variety for autism awareness and research, but more on that later.