The uniform is such an important aspect of a sports team, that it’s often an art form that’s take for granted. The uniform is just as important, if not, more important than the name itself. Most are slick designs with strong colors that represent the city they play for. And others just suck. Here are some of those that suck. And in this case, really, really suck.
Honorable Mention – 2014 Norwegian Men’s Curling Team
I wanted to keep this list strictly for professional teams, so I decided not to include this one. But it would be a disservice if I went through a list like this without mentioning these monstrosities. The stripes on these eye tests are so vivid, if you Stare directly into them, and you might see a hidden image.
And now, the main list…
10) The Entire Turn Ahead the Clock Promotion
In 1999, Major League Baseball attempted a bizarre promotion created a year earlier by the Seattle Mariners. Instead of turning back the clock, participating teams would imagine what baseball would look like far ahead, way into the 2020’s. This experiment included futuristic uniforms, stealthy graphics, and the assumption that teams are able to relocate to other planets. The promotion was widely panned, and hasn’t happened on a league-wide level since.
9) 2007 Fresno Grizzlies
With the upcoming retirement of game show legend Bob Barker in the summer of 2007, the Fresno Grizzlies wore one-off Price is Right themed jerseys. The jerseys even included name tags with the player’s names printed on them. No word on if any cars were given away that night.
8) 2017 Tampa Bay Rays “70’s Fauxback”
In 2014, the Rays introduced all-powder blue alternate uniforms that the team probably would have worn if they existed in the 1970’s.
These were hideous enough, but in 2017, these fauxbacks were repurposed with a lot more piss yellow in them. It’s a questionable creative enhancement, to an otherwise questionable promotion.
7) 1978 Caribous of Colorado
In its only year in existence, the Colorado Caribous of the NASL wore uniforms which could have also doubled as fancy dress for a night of square dancing. Fringes across the middle? Not sure what the designers were going for, but with only one season in existence, the team didn’t have time to perfect the look.
6) 1912 Montreal Canadiens
Stripes, stripes, and more stripes. These jerseys were harsh on the eyes, and that might have been what this classic team was going for over 100 years ago. It is hard to imagine uniforms like these existing today.
5) 2019 Orlando Solar Bears
Happy holidays! In the spirit of ugly Christmas sweaters, the Solar Bears of the ECHL wore uniforms showing off old school Christmas lights. Perfect for being the center of attention at your next holiday party.
4) 2015 Baltimore Ravens “Purple and Mustard” Alternates
The Ravens have always been one step ahead of the game when it comes to modern and classy uniforms. But in 2015, the team decided on wearing home purple jerseys with gold, I mean, mustard brown pants. It was considered one of the biggest fails in fashion history. Actually, purple mustard ANYTHING is a pretty big fail. But have no fear, when it comes to mustard brown, I’m nowhere near finished.
3) Jacksonville Jaguars Color Rush
I don’t mean to shit on the Jaguars uniforms, but even if I did, you couldn’t tell that I did. I usually really dig the jaguars regular color scheme, but the color rush uniforms are a very unattractive shade of dark gold. Or as I call them, their all-shit browns. Hopefully they’re retired now, along with the rest of the promotion.
2) 1978 Vancouver Canucks
What in the world were the Canucks thinking with these rainbow browns with a comically large V neck? It was a sign of the times, and a pretty gaudy sign at that. I want to believe that the V just stood for Vancouver, but why? Why would any team try to resemble a wood paneled basement? Oh yeah, it was the 70’s.
1) 1975 Houston Astros
These are the holy grail of ugly uniforms. Like I said, the 1970’s were a very different time when it came to fashion, and mustard colored rainbows just always seemed to be the look that was in. The Astros have played with different looks over the years, but this one will always stand out as a defining trend of the era.