What am I feeling right now? Well, since you asked…

I’m feeling extremely conflicted, something I’ve been feeling for almost a year now. I am very blessed to have so many wonderful things in my life. I’m in excellent physical health, I legitimately feel like an attractive man, my self-esteem has gotten amazing, I love my house (although I don’t love all the water issues I’ve been having), and I’m just generally feeling funny, social, and excited to see people.

Yet, I’m also extremely worried because I’m not in a good place in my life and career and that really bothers me. It may get better, and it may not. The stress is causing me to have some pretty bad mental roadblocks. Self-esteem can sometimes connect with depression, but not always.

The two feelings are very much a constant right now. I am taking life one day at a time, hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst (both on a personal and global scale…) I want to look back at this one day, laugh about it, and promise myself to never get into this mess again. But who knows what tomorrow will bring?